Minimalism and My Struggle with Pride

This is a look back.

Not long into my freshman year of college, I made some conscious decisions to simplify my material possessions. I took advantage of the new chapter of my life to start fresh in some very practical ways. 

Selling or donating a lot of my clothes allowed me to fully grasp what clothes I owned and only keep the items I liked and pieces I actually wore. These decisions also coincided with my learning what style clothes I felt most comfortable wearing. I learned that I feel most comfortable wearing neutrals or earth tones. I learned that bright colors just weren’t for me. Up until then, school uniform and t-shirts dominated my outfit choices. I did not empty all my drawers and closet to then go and buy a whole new wardrobe. I didn’t have the know-how or the resources to do this. What I did was strip down my wardrobe to the bare necessities and slowly accumulate clothes that contributed to my developing style over the next couple of years. 

Also during that year, I simplified a lot of my belongings. I cut down on a lot of clutter and pulled out my MacGyver skills to make many things serve a double purpose. Over a few months, I went through a long process of deciding if the things I owned were really necessary or if I could live without them. I learned that a large quantity of stuff hindered my ability to focus and concentrate on my schoolwork. When I worked with clean desk, my quality of work increased. When my room was clean from clutter, it was easier to get up and ready for the day in the morning. It was easier to accomplish things I really cared about, like studying the Word of God each morning. 

My decision to strive for minimalism wasn’t something I woke up one morning and chose on a whim. In fact, it wasn’t really a conscious decision for minimalism at all. When I considered my time, my lifestyle, my things: I knew that God called me to be a steward of those things. I didn’t want my material possessions to hinder me from serving Him, and I wanted my way of life to encourage good stewardship of my time. As a consequence, the decisions I would make would resemble minimalism. 

But minimalism has its downfalls, particularly where it and my pride intersect. Now a few years after that initial attempt at simplifying my life, I’ve grown comfortable with how I view my material possessions. What I had not realized was this growing pride inside me concerning the few possessions I owned. 

When my husband and I were creating a wedding registry, I got quite stressed out. I didn’t know if the things we were choosing were things we actually needed. I had no sense of the apartment space we were moving to. I couldn’t ask for things just because, and how could I ask for such an amount of stuff that would easily double the amount of physical possessions I owned? When we moved and were faced with the task of unpacking and sorting through all our gifts, the anxiety of the quantity of things was almost overwhelming. The thought of not knowing everything that I now owned, however realistic, was unsettling. 

I had let the amount of my possessions play a role in defining who I was as a person, not enabling me to be the kind of person God intended. 

The original motive behind my choices had gotten lost, and I realized that I had never actually given the control of my earthly possessions over to God. I had simply made what I had to control more manageable. My pride had made something that could have been very good for my life a distraction from the best thing, submitting to reign of Christ in my life. 

God has given me the life He’s given me. And often times, my life resembles minimalism. Practically speaking, my life will probably remain quite minimalistic. However, I plan on refocusing on why I make the life choices I do. Am I doing things with the proper perspective? Am I trusting in myself or in God? Am I trying to be in control, or am I choosing to follow the God I truly want in control?

//Alyson Jennie